Bridge To Brisbane Runs Into Winner Controversy

By Sports Reporter Patrick Stevedore
THE recent Bridge to Brisbane fun run was gripped by controversy today after a dispute emerged over the event's official winner.

Local man Sam Booker was told by the Brisbane City Council, yesterday that his participation in the annual fun run was declared void, after Booker was found in breach of City Council regulations.

"I couldn't believe it. I have only come to terms with it and I wish to now make this public." Booker said. "How can this be a fun run if the bureaucrats take it so seriously? I was humiliated in front of my parents, my friends, my girlfriend, and the bird I am sleeping with."

The race, held on August 7 was awarded to Tanzanian runner Patrick Nyangelo.

The controversy came after Booker finished the race 14 seconds ahead of the eventual winner, when he told a Brisbane News "journalist" he was "home and hosed".

This comment prompted officials to review Booker's particulars.

Upon inspection of his race application, it was revealed Booker house was an odd number and therefore not permitted to use hand held hoses on Sundays. Booker was stripped of his first prize and subsequently fined on the spot.

Premier Peter Beattie, remained aloof over the incident.

"Is this about a public hospital?" he said. "No? Good. See you later."

However, Booker was adamant that he in fact was "bucketed" after his victory.

"I was bucketed with water after the race, which is in the rules," he said. “The 'hosing' was a figure of speech. Surely they know that.”

Deputy Mayor David Hinchcliffe was sympathetic to Booker's plight.

"I see how this was a huge let down for him," Councillor Hinchcliffe said. "He had just run his guts out and then one little slip-up to a ‘journalist’ ruined it all. Surely, Cr Newman, who is short and bald, can see his point of view."

However, the Lord Mayor was unrepentant and said the Council were right in denying Booker glory.

"He might have had a bucket of water thrown on him, yes, but it is still an inappropriate use," Cr Newman said. "The Brisbane City Council had provided thousands of litres of Gatorade at the finish line for supporters and competitors to throw around, and we got it at a competitive retail price."

"Throwing water around is totally out of order, and I blame Mr Hinchcliffe, who is a big poo-poo pants, for this glaring oversight of the race's regulations."

Cr Newman said to avoid a repeat of this incident, the proposed Tunnel Run, due to commence in 2007, will have no water accessible throughout the entire 23km route.

"We all have to be water smart, at work, rest and play," he said.
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Patrick Stevedore was recently lost and now he is found. He was blind and now he can see, was hungry and given two dollars and told to get f**cked. He is also Wit’s regular sports reporter and his other work can be seen by clicking on the next word after ‘word’ serendipity.