Saturday, May 26, 2007

Templated Journalism Breeds Laziness: Person

By Line
Former Queensland University of Journalism head, Professor Name has slammed new curriculae which embraces "mid-sentence quoting" and jargon in head pars as sloppy journalism, leading journos to be lazy in their newswriting.

The XX-year-old Professor said journalism students should be looking to do more, particularly with their second paragraph, before heading into their key quote.

"The key quote should be here. And this quote should be punctuated by an attribution to illustrate the key quote by the key person. It's important to do that to break things up especially if you have a three-line quotation for example," he/she said.

The professor also urged journalists to use a paraphrase sentence somewhere after the key quote, and slammed those who support templating newswriting techniques etc...

"Put in foreshadowing here," he/she said. "Templated writers lose the ability to use "word bridges" to link pars so I guess, I cannot mention foreshadowing enough here."

However, Opposition leader Kevin Rudd, the other source in the story, has rejected calls that foreshadowing has been lost within the new journo stuff, stating it is an integral part of leading into a statement quote.

"The thing about statements is this," Rudd said.

Mr Rudd's comments came after the introduction of foreshadowing earlier in the article, which was followed up by a review of the ongoing saga in this paragraph.

The next sentence has a key moment in it, when what was happening previous was changed when templating was introduced, which encourges journalists to put an insightful quote at the foot of the article.

However, Professor name should be the owner of this quote."I should say something quite poignant here" professor said. "But what's the point?"
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Line is a thing with a thing and a thing. Some of his other stories include things.

I Am A Bad Egg: A Love Letter

A Personal Touch by JB McGrath

Look at eggs. I like eggs. Eggs have a shell. Once I saw someone eat an egg. It looked like it tasted good. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a good egg. I am a bad egg. Look at me baby, with my spiky hair. I use hair gel for that. Sometimes I dye my hair all sorts of colours and I listen to my rock and roll. Rock me. I wear tight jeans.

Eggs are delicate too. They have a delicate shell. If you drop a raw egg it will crack and the egg yolk and egg white will come running out. If you put a raw egg into a saucepan and boil, it will turn hard. I am hardboiled like an egg. You don’t want to mess with me – I am a bad egg. A hardboiled bad egg. You mess with me, you’re gonna get hurt. I don’t want to, it just happens. I am unhappy in life so I use drugs and alcohol to make me happy. That’s wild. I also like to engage in sexual relations with members of the opposite sex. I am crazy. Watch me go off.

Watch me go off! Wooh! I am crazy. I like to engage in sexual relations with you (yeah, you!). That’s wild. I’m so unhappy because of my parents and the fascist government, so I use drugs and alcohol to anaesthetise my pain. It just happens. I don’t want to. You gonna get hurt, if you mess with me. A bad, hardboiled egg. I am a bad egg. You don’t want to mess with me. I am egg, so hardboiled. If you put a saucepan in an egg, I will raw and boil and turn hard. The egg yolk and egg white will come running out. Drop it. You have a delicate shell. You’re a delicate egg.

Wear my tight jeans. Rock me. I listen to rock and roll and dye my eggs all sort of colours. Colour me bad. I use hair gel for that. My spiky hair – look at me baby! I am a bad egg. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like with a good egg. It looks like it tastes good. Once I saw someone egg an eater. Eggs have a shell. I like eggs. Look at eggs.
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JB McGrath recently had a holiday. He went to Noosa where he drank coffee at listened to a man play congas to jazz-soul crossover hits from the 1980s and early 1990s. His other stories include I can’t wait for the aliens from outer space to at...

Ol' Wivenhoe To Receive Makeover

By Elnino Isobar and Gerry Mander
Queensland's favourite Premier impersonator Peter Beattie unveiled an ambitious plan to reinvent Wivenhoe Dam and assured South East Queensland that the drought will not break them.

Mr Beattie announced plans to have the entire dam site redeveloped into a world-leading mini-city similar to that being built near Springfield, once the dam finally runs out of water.

"Look, we are just trying to turn a negative into a positve", Mr Beattie said. "We have seen how well Springfield's development boosted the economically both locally and for Queensland, and it would be silly to have that land just sitting there, when people are doing it touch in the drought."

Mr Beattie announced the $80b project, contracted to development multinational Multiplex, will include housing for 250,000 residents, designated parklands and recreational sites, a 200-strong shopping centre and a new local MP office - for the seat of Wivenhoe Heights, as part of Labor's propsed electoral realignment.

However, Mr Beattie scoffed at suggestions developers dictate the terms in Queensland and slammed comments that they ignoring the threat of the new city being on a floodplain.

"That is absurd. I have every faith in Multiplex to build the city with affordable living with efficiency and accountability." Mr Beattie said. "I know. After they proposed the deal to me, I went home and they had added an extra storey to my house."

"As for those who believe the area is a floodplain, I ask them when was the last time there was a flood. Yes, once upon a time it held an enormous amount of water. But it seems those days are coming to an end. We really have to move away from such negative thinking and concentrate on looking forward. Dams don't flood anyway. Rivers do."

The plan has come in for harsh criticism. Shadow Minister for Irrelevance, the Coalition (yes, all of them), said Labor has simply lost the plot.

"Sounds nice. I want to live there. Do they have talking ducks?" they said. Harshly, you hope.Originally named "Wife and Hoe", after local farmwife Sylvia Sorghum who protested with a hoe over water deprivation in the bush, the dam was officially opened in the early 1970s.

However, Bjelke-Petersen's misinterpretation of the word "opening" led to the disastrous and tragic flooding of Brisbane in January 1974.
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Elnino Isobar and Gerry Mander are the only people who actually have read the last few posts, the last of which was long time ago. Thanks fellas.

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