PM Proud To Be Associated With "Woody" Wilson
By Jethro Jake
AUSTRALIAN Prime Minister John Howard has applauded himself for winning a United States government award in memory of former US president Woodrow Wilson.
“I’m fantastic,” Mr Howard said. “I have a nice jacket.”
Mr Howard said it was an “honour” to receive the Award for Public Service from the Woodrow Wilson International Centre for Scholars and he was proud to be put up against such a tyrant as Woodrow “Woody” Wilson.
“He was way ahead of his time, in terms of pre-emptive striking, fighting wars in Asia, including Muslims, and aiming for greater power for the American people,” the PM said. “They’re some of my aims now, so being mentioned in the same sentence as Woody Wilson makes me feel tremendously sexy.”
During his term in office, President Woodrow Wilson introduced many progressive acts into the constitution to prevent anti-American and anti-British sentiment; was scared of socialists; and supported the private pro-war and anti-pacifist organisation, the violent American Protective League.
President Wilson was also instrumental in the war that for some reason occurred in the Phillippines and invaded and constantly manipulated the power structures of Mexico, Haiti, Cuba, Panama and Nicaragua for truth, justice and the American way.
Mr Howard said while he admired President Wilson, he was not a racist, a claim that has been levelled and fired repeatedly at the former president since his days in office in 1913-1921.
President Wilson has long been regarded as one of the main reasons behind what many historians say was the worst period of racism in American history, including segregation, suspicion of foreign-sounding people, and support for the pro-Ku Klux Klan movie Birth of a Nation.
“I am not a racist,” PM Howard said. “I want to make that clear. I mean, I love Denzel Washington and I think Sir Garfield Sobers was probably the best cricketer to pull on the pads. Sure Birth of a Nation was racist, but I think (Birth of a Nation) director DW Griffith was a genius, creating much film grammar still used today, despite Godard’s best efforts. Maybe that’s what Woody was talking about.”
Current US President George W Bush couldn’t be bothered giving Prime Minister Howard a congratulations message himself, so he sent a video tape, saying “good on you, little buddy”.
“He (President Bush) is a great man also,” the Prime Minister said. “I mean he wants to spread freedom and build a foundation of peace. How cool is that?”
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Jethro Jake has made a name for himself writing for Wit and its poor cousin Half-Wit with articles such as Young Griffith Man Uses Hair Gel, Chef, Hairdresser Fall In Love, Brisbane News Gets Scoop and AC/DC Go All Eastern and Mystical. That name is Tom Cringingnut.
AUSTRALIAN Prime Minister John Howard has applauded himself for winning a United States government award in memory of former US president Woodrow Wilson.
“I’m fantastic,” Mr Howard said. “I have a nice jacket.”
Mr Howard said it was an “honour” to receive the Award for Public Service from the Woodrow Wilson International Centre for Scholars and he was proud to be put up against such a tyrant as Woodrow “Woody” Wilson.
“He was way ahead of his time, in terms of pre-emptive striking, fighting wars in Asia, including Muslims, and aiming for greater power for the American people,” the PM said. “They’re some of my aims now, so being mentioned in the same sentence as Woody Wilson makes me feel tremendously sexy.”
During his term in office, President Woodrow Wilson introduced many progressive acts into the constitution to prevent anti-American and anti-British sentiment; was scared of socialists; and supported the private pro-war and anti-pacifist organisation, the violent American Protective League.
President Wilson was also instrumental in the war that for some reason occurred in the Phillippines and invaded and constantly manipulated the power structures of Mexico, Haiti, Cuba, Panama and Nicaragua for truth, justice and the American way.
Mr Howard said while he admired President Wilson, he was not a racist, a claim that has been levelled and fired repeatedly at the former president since his days in office in 1913-1921.
President Wilson has long been regarded as one of the main reasons behind what many historians say was the worst period of racism in American history, including segregation, suspicion of foreign-sounding people, and support for the pro-Ku Klux Klan movie Birth of a Nation.
“I am not a racist,” PM Howard said. “I want to make that clear. I mean, I love Denzel Washington and I think Sir Garfield Sobers was probably the best cricketer to pull on the pads. Sure Birth of a Nation was racist, but I think (Birth of a Nation) director DW Griffith was a genius, creating much film grammar still used today, despite Godard’s best efforts. Maybe that’s what Woody was talking about.”
Current US President George W Bush couldn’t be bothered giving Prime Minister Howard a congratulations message himself, so he sent a video tape, saying “good on you, little buddy”.
“He (President Bush) is a great man also,” the Prime Minister said. “I mean he wants to spread freedom and build a foundation of peace. How cool is that?”
---------
Jethro Jake has made a name for himself writing for Wit and its poor cousin Half-Wit with articles such as Young Griffith Man Uses Hair Gel, Chef, Hairdresser Fall In Love, Brisbane News Gets Scoop and AC/DC Go All Eastern and Mystical. That name is Tom Cringingnut.
posted by Lord Beavish at 8:10 pm
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